Assignment 5: Rewritten but not sure?

I have tried, as I said I would, to incorporate some of the suggestions that my tutor made in the feedback for A5. I am really not sure about them though. Perhaps I have taken the meat out of the essay while trying to shoe-horn in ideas I’m only just starting to begin to look at properly. Perhaps it’s clearer, perhaps it’s less robust. I simply have no idea now. I would be grateful if anyone who read the original submission might glance through this version and let me know their thoughts.

The other thing I am concerned about is that I have footnotes on pages 7 and 11 that are very long. Another student mentioned her tutor says, ‘no footnotes’, although I have seen them (perhaps not quite so many) in final essays where students did very well indeed. Should I simply delete these altogether, or move them to an appendix? The list of films should probably be included at the end but I’m not sure anyone needs to know the Bowlby stuff. But this essay is fundamentally about language and how it shapes reality. I was concerned that MB had thought I was saying that time was literally being warped, which is not what I was saying.

Other than this I am ready to print all the essays and feedback for the assessment pack and will sign on for the next course hopefully this week. I also have one last project to complete which I will do very soon.

Final draft Assesment version 24-5-17


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